Cat Scratch Fever
by Mako Headrush
Summary: Sephiroth acquires a new pet; roommate Genesis is less than impressed, and needs some help in dealing with the hostile creature. Rated M for language, mostly Reno's. Established Genesis/Sephiroth, and Reno/Rufus. Citrusy, yaoi. One-shot/complete.


**Usual disclaimer applies - I do not own Final Fantasy, Square Enix does. This fic is written for fun, not profit.**

* * *

Genesis entered Sephiroth's office, having been summoned there for a very _private_ meeting, and for a brief moment, thought he might have the wrong office, based on what he was hearing come out of his lover's mouth.

"_That's a good girl! Would you like your little mousie_?"

Genesis stopped and gaped at the General - the much feared warrior, the hero of the war in Wutai, known to Wutaians far and wide as the "Silver-haired demon" - this cold-blooded killer was sitting at his desk, cooing and fussing over a cat that was curled up in his lap. The cat, a longhaired variety, with thick silver-white fur, silky as angora, was purring lazily as Sephiroth stroked the animal behind his ears.

"Genesis," Sephiroth said, looking up. "Ah, you haven't met Princess Tiger Lily yet, have you? Bit of a surprise, I must admit, but I am finding she rather likes me." He gazed lovingly into the cat's pale green eyes, making ridiculous sounding noises of admiration.

The auburn-haired SOLDIER nearly choked. "Princess Tiger Lily?" Genesis repeated dumbly. "Oh...you mean the cat," he murmured, stepping toward Sephiroth. The cat suddenly opened her eyes and glared at Genesis, hissing madly.

"She hates me already," Genesis muttered, returning the glare. "Fabulous." He didn't have much use for cats - or dogs, for that matter, really. Genesis was meticulous in his appearance, and anything that had the potential to shed upon, or even shred his wardrobe, was not something he wanted to live with.

"Oh, she just has to get to know you," Sephiroth insisted, standing with the cat cradled in his arms. He loosed one arm to stroke Genesis's hair, brushing it out of his eyes, and leaned in to kiss him softly. The cat let out a pained wail, and clawed at Genesis, nails ripping cleanly through the red leather of his sleeve.

"What in the name of the Goddess!" Genesis exclaimed, stepping back and making a face. "Seph...darling, you know I love you, but we _did_ not discuss getting a cat," he said firmly, staring hatefully at the creature.

"I'm sorry," Sephiroth said sheepishly, hugging Princess Tiger Lily, scratching her under the chin. "Cats are so low-maintenance, unlike dogs...I didn't think it would be a huge problem."

"Our apartment will not be big enough for the three of us," Genesis declared pessimistically, shaking his head. "That cat does not like me."

"Well, you've only just met each other, too," Sephiroth replied, handing the cat over to a horror-struck Genesis, placing the hissing, snarling creature in his lover's arms.

Genesis flinched as the animal squirmed within his grasp. Carefully, he walked over to the small leather sofa in Sephiroth's office and sat down. Princess Tiger Lily instantly sprang from his arms and scurried over to the opposite corner of the couch, glaring at Genesis as she licked her paws.

"I really don't think this is a good idea," Genesis argued.

"Nonsense," Sephiroth said, waving his hand dismissively. "Now. I have to meet with Lazard to discuss our next objective, I will be debriefing you and Angeal with any pertinent details after I've had time to go over everything." He sauntered over to the couch and pulled Genesis to his feet, kissing him roughly.

_Hisssss... _Princess Tiger Lily bared her teeth and snarled at this affectionate display, apparently not liking it when anyone else had Sephiroth's attention.

"You see that!" Genesis exclaimed, pointing at the cat. "She's jealous, the little bitch."

Sephiroth frowned. "That's not very nice. Animals don't get _jealous_, Gen, don't be silly."

"Hmpf," Genesis grunted, fairly certain that Sephiroth was wrong about that.

"Anyway, I must go," Sephiroth said, kissing Genesis again. "Why don't you and Princess get to know each other a little bit better?"

"No!" Genesis cried, horrified by the suggestion. "She'll be fine in your office, Seph, I'll lock the door."

Sephiroth shook his head. "No, I don't think that's a good idea either," he said. "What if one of the secretaries opens my door and lets her out? Bring her back to the apartment, Genesis. I won't have time to do it myself, my meeting starts in just five minutes. Just bring her there, and I'll be home as soon as I'm done with Lazard."

"I would rather burn my collector's edition of LOVELESS," Genesis said bitterly. Sephiroth chuckled. "Now, I know you don't mean that. It'll be fine, Gen, you'll see." Another quick kiss, and Sephiroth sailed out the door, the black leather of his trench fluttering out behind him.

"Damn him," Genesis muttered, glaring again at that hateful cat. "And damn you. Really, would it be such a bad thing if one of the secretaries let you out?" he pondered, then thought better of it. _No, he'd kill me. _Sighing, Genesis braced himself, and attempted to speak sweetly to the cat, trying to coax it back into his arms so he could take her home.

"Come on now, you little bastard," he said in a fake-sounding, sing-song voice. "I'm taking you to your daddy's." The cat squirmed in his arms, worm like, and freed herself from his grasp enough to be able to sink her teeth into Genesis's gloved hand.

"Ow!" Genesis shouted, now hissing at the cat himself. "I hate you, do you know that?" he exclaimed. Tucking the flailing animal under his arm, he left Sephiroth's office. "Beastly creature," he muttered as the door shut behind him. "Vile little furball, I don't know what in seven hells Sephiroth was thinking when he got _you_."

* * *

Reno was at Rufus ShinRa's penthouse, out on the spacious terrace playing fetch with Dark Nation. Reno was one of the few people other than Rufus, that Dark Nation behaved around, quite possibly because Reno had plied the dog with treats when he was just a pup, and had gained his trust since then. Reno had often remarked that "dogs are better people than most humans," and the bond between he and Dark Nation grew strong, as the dog matured from puppy into adult.

"You're so good with her," Rufus said affectionately, as he joined Reno out on the terrace, a mug of coffee in one hand. His white silk robe fell open just so, exposing an expanse of pale skin. Reno licked his lips as he stared.

"Uh - sir," Reno stammered, dropping the rubber squeaky in his hand. Dark Nation quickly retrieved it, and pawed at Reno's leg, whimpering at him.

"Oh Reno, please," Rufus said dismissively, letting the robe fall open further. He smiled as he saw Reno's eyes travel further south. "It's only the two of us here, there's no need for formalities."

"It's _not_ just the two of us," Reno said stubbornly. "Rufus, I don't want Dark watching us again. That shit was creepy last time, yo."

Rufus laughed, setting the coffee mug down on a nearby table. "She just loves you, Reno. As do I," he added softly.

Reno gaped, open-mouthed. This was the first such open declaration of love from the vice president, ever since the two had begun their somewhat clandestine affair, and he wasn't entirely sure how - or if - he should respond.

"I - I, uh - " Reno stammered, as Rufus drew near, a look of unbridled lust and hunger in his eyes.

"Shh," Rufus whispered, pulling Reno into his arms. "You don't have to say anything, Reno. You can _show_ me..." he added, nodding his head toward the bedroom.

"Yeah," Reno squeaked. "In...there." Rufus slowly pulled Reno's black jacket off of him, then slowly unbuttoned the rumpled white shirt, letting it fall to the ground.

"Magnificent," Rufus whispered, head lowering to Reno's chest as his teeth latched onto a nipple. Reno gasped aloud, skin flushed and heart pounding as Rufus's teeth dug into the sensitive nub of flesh, and none too gently at that.

"She - she's still watching us," Reno gasped, pointing at Dark Nation, who sat there with her tongue hanging out, looking up at both men expectantly. She nudged the squeaky toy with her nose and whimpered, then lay down with her head forlornly between her large paws.

"Aw, she wanted to play," Reno murmured. "Now I feel bad."

"_I_ want to play," Rufus said, gazing lasciviously at Reno. "To the bedroom, Reno."

"Yeah, otherwise we'll be giving someone a show," Reno joked, snickering. "Hell, I'd watch us, though. I bet we look fucking hot together, Ru."

"I'm sure we do," Rufus purred, pushing Reno along toward the bedroom. "Remind me to have mirrors installed on the ceiling then." Dark Nation perked up, following along behind the two men, carrying her toy along. She got as far as the bedroom door when Rufus turned to her and patted her on the head.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. We'll play fetch later," Rufus assured her. "Such a good girl you are," he added, scratching the guard hound behind her ears. Dark Nation growled affectionately, nudging Rufus with a cold wet nose. Smiling, Rufus shut the door, keeping the hound out, as he turned his attentions back to his lover. Reno lay on the vice-president's oversized bed, by now stripped of his clothing, with a cocky grin as he posed provocatively for Rufus.

"Like what ya see?" Reno murmured, grinning mischievously at Rufus. Suddenly, his ShinRa-issued cell phone sounded, indicating an incoming text.

"Damn it!" Reno muttered, reaching over to the bedside table to retrieve his phone. "That better not be Rude, god damn it, I'll rip him a new one!" His face paled as he read the text out loud.

"Sender, Rhapsodos. It says, '_SOS, 10-91V, 10-29H at Sephiroth's_, _hurry_. Shit!" Reno glanced around for his clothing, pulling his pants on quickly, then his shirt, not even bothering to button it. He threw a hip holster on, and grabbed his handgun, shoving it into the holster.

"Wait!" Rufus called after Reno, who was rushing toward the door. "What does that mean? What's a 10-91V? Or...10-29H?"

"10-29V is a vicious animal attack," Reno told him. "10-29H...means the subject is causing a hazard, or potential harm to someone."

"Then go, I know you must," Rufus said firmly, kissing Reno one last time before he left. "Come back to me, safely, when you're done."

"I...I will," Reno stammered, the words_ I love you_ on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't utter them, not just yet. Or perhaps ever; he wasn't even sure _what_ this was, this little affair with Rufus that had begun so quickly and furiously. Was it love? Reno just didn't know, it was definitely too soon for him to say for sure that it was, however.

"I'm yours, Rufus," Reno said instead, eyes locking with his lover's. "I'll always come home safe." He exited the bedroom, and patted Dark Nation on the head before leaving the penthouse, heading straight for Sephiroth's apartment, debating whether or not to call Rude for backup. It was his partner's day off, and finally decided not to bother the man.

_I should be able to handle this, whatever it is,_ Reno thought to himself, remembering the last words he'd uttered to his lover.

"I _will_ come home, damn it," Reno said, gritting his teeth. With one hand on his EMR, he knocked on the door of Sephiroth's apartment, not knowing what he'd find behind the door.

* * *

As Reno stood out there knocking, Genesis suddenly threw the door open with a flourish. "Reno, thank _Minerva_ you got here when you did," Genesis said dramatically. Reno stared at Genesis, surprised at the relative silence within the apartment.

"What...was the emergency, yo?" Reno asked, EMR slung over the Turk's shoulder as he looked around the apartment suspiciously. "Where's Sephiroth?"

"He's with Lazard," Genesis replied, motioning Reno over to the bathroom. The door was shut, and Genesis grimaced, bracing himself before he opened the door.

"Prepare yourself, Reno," Genesis said grimly, one hand on the doorknob.

"What the hell do you have _in_ there, Genesis?" Reno demanded, eyes narrowing as he glared at Genesis. Without another word, Genesis swiftly opened the door to reveal..a tiny, mewing cat.

"This?" Reno said, his glare growing more murderous. "_This_ is what you summoned me for, like it was some big fucking emergency? Up yours, Rhapsodos, I am _leaving_ - "

"Reno, look at what this little bitch has done to me!" Genesis protested, holding out his arm for inspection; the sleeve of his red leather duster, which was once buttery soft crimson leather, was now reduced to sad-looking shreds of material.

"Damn," Reno said, letting out a low whistle. "Well, that sucks, yo. She really hates you." Reno snickered, stooping down to pet the kitten. It looked so sweet and innocent; such a tiny thing, with big, green eyes, and soft, silvery fur.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Turk," Genesis cautioned, shaking his head.

"Oh come on, Rhapsodos, _what_? You afraid of a little pussy?" Reno teased, still snickering. He reached his hand out, intending to pet the kitten, and before Reno could even react, claws and teeth sunk into the fleshy part of his thumb, as Princess Tiger Lily bit into him, digging her claws in.

"Fuck!" Reno exclaimed, trying to pull the hateful creature off of him. "Cute and innocent, my ass!" he shouted, glaring at the cat, who was licking her tiny paws, indifferent to the suffering of the one she'd just bitten.

"See?" Genesis said knowingly, quickly shutting the door while the cat was distracted with grooming herself. "I told you she was a vicious beast."

"She ain't exactly friendly," Reno muttered, casting a low level cure spell over his hand, now swollen and throbbing. "Hey, has she even had her damned rabies shots yet?"

"No idea," Genesis admitted, sighing. "Damn Sephiroth, anyway! I had no idea he was even getting a cat, this was a complete surprise to me."

"How nice," Reno said sarcastically. "Listen, why the hell did you call me, anyway, to deal with a frigging _cat_?"

"Well..." Genesis began, then faltered. "I really don't know why I thought of you first, honestly. I suppose because you're good with animals...I've seen how well you get on with Dark Nation, for one thing."

"Oh," Reno murmured, his face coloring slightly. "Uh...well, I guess that's probably because Dark is used to me being around."

Genesis glanced at Reno curiously for a bit; then, threw his head back and laughed.

"Oh, I get it now," Genesis said, chuckling. "You're sleeping with Rufus, aren't you? I should have known..."

"I - ah, well - " Reno stammered nervously, then groaned, rolling his eyes. "What do you mean, you should have known? What's that supposed to mean?" Reno said indignantly. "Mind your own damned business, Genesis," he added with a grunt.

"Oh, I meant nothing!" Genesis replied, suddenly cheerful. "I'm glad Rufus has moved on," he continued. "I think you'll be good for him, actually - "

"Moved on from _what_, Rhapsodos?" Reno demanded, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing," Genesis said, lying quickly. "Now, what shall we do about this cat - "

"Quit fucking around, yo," Reno said evenly, jabbing Genesis' shoulder with the end of his EMR. "Now you're going to tell me what you meant by that," he said firmly, a flare of jealousy suddenly surprising him. _What the hell, I don't have anything to be jealous of! Or do I?_

"Stop poking me with your little stick," Genesis retorted, returning Reno's glare. "All I meant, was...I'm glad Rufus and I have both found someone else, that's all. He and I were doomed from the start, really, we were too much alike..."

The EMR fell to the floor with a clatter, as Reno stood there open-mouthed; clearly, he'd had no idea who Rufus had slept with prior to the start of their own affair. "You...and Rufus, you two were...?"

"Damn it," Genesis muttered, trying to look sympathetic. Really, how was he to know that Rufus hadn't shared that bit of information with Reno? "I assumed you would have known, Reno...though we certainly didn't advertise our relationship, mainly because of Old Man ShinRa," Genesis added with disdain. "He doesn't exactly approve of Rufus's lifestyle."

Reno barely heard what Genesis was saying, his mind focused only upon one thing. "I can't believe you fucked my boyfriend," he muttered, shaking his head. "Rufus never said a thing."

"Well, I haven't fucked him in a good long while, if that's any consolation," Genesis replied, arching an eyebrow. "Look...I'm sorry, Reno. I wouldn't have even alluded to anything, had I thought you _knew_. It's old news, anyway..."

"Never mind, yo," Reno said, waving Genesis off dismissively. "You're with Sephiroth now, I'm with Rufus, we're cool. So what about this fucking cat, now? You can't leave the little shit in the bathroom forever."

"I thought you liked animals?" Genesis asked, amused.

"Not this one," Reno replied immediately, shaking his head. "The thing is fucking hostile, man."

"Well, let's see, then," Genesis murmured thoughtfully, trying to formulate a plan. "Seph did see fit to buy a carrier, at least," he said, nodding at it. "Now, if I could get the cat to relax enough in order to get it in the carrier, that would help. Tranquilizers...I have them, but it might be too much for a tiny kitten."

"How about I cast Sleepel?" Reno offered. "I've got Seal materia in my bracer."

"Reno, you are brilliant," Genesis gushed gratefully. "That could actually work! You know, I could _kiss_ you."

"That'd be interesting," Reno said dryly, grinning and waggling his eyebrows at Genesis. "Maybe you _should_." Reno had always thought the man was a little bit too uptight, but then, he'd never really spent much time alone with him. _Flirting is not cheating_, Reno told himself insistently. _Besides, it's not like Rufus and I are married_, he thought, snickering. Reno was nothing if not fickle.

Genesis correctly interpreted Reno's flirtatious gaze, and returned his own serve. "Perhaps later," he said, trying to sound bored. "First, you need to help me with my pussy problem." Reno practically choked at that.

"Didn't know you swung that way, Rhapsodos, but if it's tail you're after, I know where to find it," Reno said, a cocky grin on his face.

"Lovely," Genesis replied, rolling his eyes. "Can we just get this over with? You have the Seal materia ready to go?"

"Yep," Reno reassured him, patting his bracer. "Now open the door, Genesis - _slowly_ - and I'll put the little fucker to sleep."

Genesis nodded, the sound of the cat scratching furiously against the other side of the door echoing throughout the small apartment.

"On three," Genesis told Reno, who nodded in acknowledgment. "One...two...three!" On three, Genesis flung the door open, and Princess Tiger Lily flew out, hissing, claws bared. Reno quickly sprang into action and cast the spell. The Turk grinned triumphantly, as the hissing and meowing came to an end.

"Nighty-night, kitty cat!" Reno called, laughing. He glanced at Genesis, surprised to see a look of horror on the man's face.

"Wait, what now?" Reno said to him, though Genesis was momentarily speechless, he just kept...pointing, at where the cat was.

_Wait. **Was**? Where...where is the kitten now? Oh fuck!_

"You idiot," Genesis seethed, hissing through his teeth. "Look what you've done!" He pointed again at the creature in the doorway - clearly not a cat, but a frog.

The frog hopped a few steps, and let out a loud _crooaaaak_! Genesis gasped.

"You idiot!" he shouted again at Reno. "You cast Frog Song instead of Sleepel!"

"Oh shit," Reno whispered, shaking his head. "I - I gotta go," he said hurriedly, turning to leave. "Tell Sephiroth I'm sorry - actually, don't say anything. I wasn't here, you never saw me - " Genesis halted him by grabbing his sleeve.

"You're not going anywhere. You _will_ change the cat back, Reno. _Now_!" Genesis ordered him. "Get some maiden's kiss."

"That shit never works, yo!" Reno protested, whining. "And I don't _have_ any, anyway! Damn it, can't you guys just settle for a frog as a pet? It's kind of cute - "

"Sephiroth left a cat with me," Genesis said evenly, "and he shall return to find that same cat here. Hateful though she may be, Sephiroth loves the wretched little beast. Goddess knows why."

The two redheads froze as the door sounded; Sephiroth was home. "Shit! Shit, shit, shit!" Reno exclaimed, muttering. "I need to hide - "

"You are _not_ hiding, Reno," Genesis replied calmly, grabbing Reno's arm. "You did this, and we shall explain it to Sephiroth." Truthfully, Genesis wasn't looking forward to the General's reaction either, but at least the he could pawn this off on Reno; technically, it _was_ the Turk's fault that Princess Tiger Lily was now a frog and not a cat.

"Genesis," Sephiroth purred, greeting his lover with a kiss. He frowned, glancing over at Reno. "What's Reno doing here?" Then, a look around the room, his eye falling upon the frog, but he made no comment. "Where is my cat?"

"Uh..." Genesis and Reno murmured simultaneously, looking hugely guilt-ridden. "Funny story, that," Genesis began lightly, faking a smile.

"That _cat_ is a fucking asshole," Reno blurted, then cringed as Sephiroth glared at him. "I mean...she gave me and Genesis a really hard time, yo. Look at the poor dude's coat!" Reno pointed at the torn red leather of Genesis's duster.

Sephiroth arched a silvery eyebrow, and stared at the frog again. The amphibian looked around, through bulging, black eyes, flicking its tongue out to catch a small gnat.

"What is this frog doing in the bathroom?" Sephiroth asked calmly.

"He did it," Genesis said, sounding like a tattle-tale child. "Reno did it, he cast Frog Song on the cat. To be fair, though...I had only wanted him to cast Sleepel, but _he_ screwed _up_," Genesis added, with a pointed glare at Reno.

"Up yours, Genesis," Reno snapped. "Do you have any idea what you interrupted when you called me with your so-called emergency!" Genesis bit his lip to keep from laughing; oh, he had a very _good_ idea what Reno had been up to, and with whom.

Sephiroth looked back and forth from one to the other, and laughed. "You two," he said, shaking his head, "are hopeless. The General raised his arm, and a soft, blue glow emanated from the materia within his bracer. Soon, the frog was transformed back into Princess Tiger Lily, looking none the worse for wear. The cat instantly attached itself to Genesis, who cringed, expecting to be clawed to death, but instead...the cat was rubbing against his boot-clad legs.

_Shedding all over me, damn it! _Genesis fretted, glowering at the animal. _At least...she's not scratching at me...yet..._

"I think being a frog mellowed her a bit, maybe," Reno offered, snickering. "Oh man. That was too much - "

"See that you don't pull that again, Reno, hmm?" Sephiroth said, sounding bored. "Thank you for your...help, such as it was."

"Uh, any time, yo," Reno murmured uncomfortably. "I gotta go." The Turk quickly ran out, without waiting for another word.

"Well," Sephiroth said dryly, smiling at Genesis. "It appears she likes you, I knew she'd warm up to you eventually, Genesis."

"Yes, well," Genesis murmured, stooping down to pick up the kitten, stroking behind its soft, tiny ears. "I suppose I can learn to live with her, if she will behave." He smiled into the cat's green eyes, that reminded him a bit of Sephiroth's.

Sephiroth reached out to pet Princess Tiger Lily, and the kitten threw its head back, hissing at him. Genesis hugged the kitten to his chest and laughed.

"This is just too much," Genesis remarked, chuckling. "I guess you'll have to learn to live with it, Seph," Genesis added snarkily, grinning mischievously at his lover.


End file.
